JoeN
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- Dec 4, 2020
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I wrote this a few years ago and posted it to that other, less cool domain forum. I thought my Canadian compadres might enjoy it.
This is my holiday tribute to domainers, to be read in the same meter as "'Twas the night before Christmas."
'Twas the night of renewals
‘Twas the night of renewals, and all ‘round the ‘net’
Not a buyer would aid with my mountain of debt.
My names were all listed at auction with care,
In the hopes that end users would flock to them there.
My bottom was nestled all snug in the couch,
While visions of failure caused me to slouch.
And mama in her anger, and I with my pride,
Had just settled in to argue our sides.
When then on my phone came a notification,
I sprang to my feet with a sense of elation.
Away to my laptop I flew like a flash,
Clicked open my email and prayed it not crash.
The glow of the screen on my tingling skin,
Gave an awed sense of magic to the message within.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But an offer for DrinkMoreDontDrinkLess.beer!
For a domain so awful to sell on this night,
I knew in a moment I’d done something right.
More rapid than eagles the buyers they came,
And I called to the sites as they bid on my names:
“Now, Sedo! Now, NameJet! Now Flippa and eBay!
On GoDaddy, Afternic, DN.ca!!
Go beyond my reserves; I have brokers to call.
Now cash me in! Cash me in! Come, buy them all!”
As toys that on Black Friday morn disappear,
When stole from a savage mob, cause one to cheer,
So did my names on this fabled night sell.
I allowed a brief pause for my ego to swell.
And then without warning my cell phone did ring,
I stopped hugging my wife to answer the thing.
Said the caller, “I see you’ve been busy this night,
I’ve a pretty good name that’ll suit you just right.”
His voice - how it twinkled! His manner, so kind.
He sounded naive, but I didn't mind.
He said he knew not his name's value, you see,
But I let him go on and describe it to me.
He did so, and shortly my eyes came aglow,
For the name was a monster, but he did not know.
It was short and dot com, a premium key word,
And the price he desired was simply absurd.
He asked just for all of my sales from this eve,
For a domain worth millions? I could not believe.
I knew that at once I must act on this chance,
To hell with deception! My game is finance.
I grudgingly told him I'd purchase his ware,
And secretly admired my own acting flare.
I winked at my wife as I sat down to type,
Set up the transfer, and lit my best pipe.
The money went through without complication,
And back came the name, much to my jubilation.
I fist-pumped the air; pictured fortune and fame,
Mama toasted my genius with a glass of champagne.
And that's when I noticed two words written plain,
Right beside my new purchase: "International Domain."
The seller just chuckled as I wailed out in strife...
"Damn you domaining! You've ruined my life!"
Merry Christmas Canadian domainers!!
Joe
This is my holiday tribute to domainers, to be read in the same meter as "'Twas the night before Christmas."
'Twas the night of renewals
‘Twas the night of renewals, and all ‘round the ‘net’
Not a buyer would aid with my mountain of debt.
My names were all listed at auction with care,
In the hopes that end users would flock to them there.
My bottom was nestled all snug in the couch,
While visions of failure caused me to slouch.
And mama in her anger, and I with my pride,
Had just settled in to argue our sides.
When then on my phone came a notification,
I sprang to my feet with a sense of elation.
Away to my laptop I flew like a flash,
Clicked open my email and prayed it not crash.
The glow of the screen on my tingling skin,
Gave an awed sense of magic to the message within.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But an offer for DrinkMoreDontDrinkLess.beer!
For a domain so awful to sell on this night,
I knew in a moment I’d done something right.
More rapid than eagles the buyers they came,
And I called to the sites as they bid on my names:
“Now, Sedo! Now, NameJet! Now Flippa and eBay!
On GoDaddy, Afternic, DN.ca!!
Go beyond my reserves; I have brokers to call.
Now cash me in! Cash me in! Come, buy them all!”
As toys that on Black Friday morn disappear,
When stole from a savage mob, cause one to cheer,
So did my names on this fabled night sell.
I allowed a brief pause for my ego to swell.
And then without warning my cell phone did ring,
I stopped hugging my wife to answer the thing.
Said the caller, “I see you’ve been busy this night,
I’ve a pretty good name that’ll suit you just right.”
His voice - how it twinkled! His manner, so kind.
He sounded naive, but I didn't mind.
He said he knew not his name's value, you see,
But I let him go on and describe it to me.
He did so, and shortly my eyes came aglow,
For the name was a monster, but he did not know.
It was short and dot com, a premium key word,
And the price he desired was simply absurd.
He asked just for all of my sales from this eve,
For a domain worth millions? I could not believe.
I knew that at once I must act on this chance,
To hell with deception! My game is finance.
I grudgingly told him I'd purchase his ware,
And secretly admired my own acting flare.
I winked at my wife as I sat down to type,
Set up the transfer, and lit my best pipe.
The money went through without complication,
And back came the name, much to my jubilation.
I fist-pumped the air; pictured fortune and fame,
Mama toasted my genius with a glass of champagne.
And that's when I noticed two words written plain,
Right beside my new purchase: "International Domain."
The seller just chuckled as I wailed out in strife...
"Damn you domaining! You've ruined my life!"
Merry Christmas Canadian domainers!!
Joe
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